Insomnia
by nytecat
Summary: Shizuru is tormented by her actions during The Carnival.


_**Title: Insomnia**_

_Author's note: This story is dedicated to Volk-Krosh._

The setting sun turned the green grass into an ocean of blood. Two combatants faced each other across a broad crop circle with its moat of incinerated earth. A harsh wind rose, a siren song of dismay shrieking in the silent stillness.

"It's just between us now, Tokiha-san," the tawny-haired woman said. "Nao's dead."

Mai Tokiha raised her head, murder in her violet eyes. "I won't let you stand in the way of Takumi's resurrection." Her voice darkened. "I will kill you if I have to, Fujino-san."

"Such arrogance," was all the Student Council president said, her hand reflectively tucking her hair behind the ear. Her bold blitheness was meant to disarm the younger woman. It didn't work. Oh well...

Without wasting a moment, she flowed into the attack. Her naginata materialising in her hands and arcing to strike. As expected, Mai went on the defensive - her fiery magatamas blazing into existence as she dodged the first blow and blocked another. Glittering sparks flew up in the air with each hard hit.

They danced with deadly grace across the field in front of the Academy. Shadows stretched across the lawn as Shizuru's blade scored again and again on Mai's body. The Student Council took extreme care not to incapacitate the redhead – she bided her time patiently.

Yet, no matter how many times she was cut, the cold killer look never left Mai's eyes. Shizuru spared a moment to salute her opponent's courage, a smirk momentarily twisting her blasé expression. It was a rash move. The redhead took full advantage of the lull in battle and sprang backwards.

"Kagutsuchi!"

The brunette felt her lips curl into a sneer of disdain even as elation burnt through her veins. The moment she had been waiting for had arrived. "Kiyohime," she whispered.

Mai landed on her Child as it appeared out of a tower of flames. Kiyohime struck before the dragon could unleash his devastating blast. The hydra latched onto Kagutsuchi's neck, preventing the dragon from taking flight. The ground heaved and bucked as the two Childs grappled. Mai jumped off from her precarious perch and landed in front of Shizuru.

The two HiMEs resumed their duel. Mai, brazenly attacking. Shizuru, skilfully deflecting. There was beauty in their seamless movements as trails of red jewels arced across the air. Time trickled by, enfeebling strength and spirit.

Suddenly, one of the combatants stumbled and fell to her knees. The defeated HiME looked up, stark loathing in her eyes.

"Die, Mai!" Shizuru snarled as she raised her naginata.

"Shizuru, no!"

That voice... Awkwardly, the Student Council President wrenched aside her downwards strike. Clods of dirt exploded upwards as her blade bit deep into the earth. Mai continued to glare at Shizuru, unflinching even as blood began to seep from a long gash on her forehead.

With the greatest of trepidation, the high school senior turned to look at the owner of that voice. Natsuki got off her bike, removed her helmet with one hand and let it drop to the ground. Shizuru stared at her love, heart aching. Cold emerald eyes met her pained cerise ones.

"Natsuki..." she started to say but stopped as a gun materialised in her love's hand. She watched in silence as the barrel swerved to point at her. "Your...your power's back."

The raven-haired HiME merely said nothing, her eyes turning from their intense study to Mai. The redhead had not moved since Shizuru laid down her weapon. When Natsuki turned to look back at Shizuru, the brunette despaired at the hate that burned within those jade depths. "Step away from Mai, Shizuru," Natsuki said softly.

Shizuru stepped back. She watched silently the tender tableau unfold before her eyes. A desolate breeze blew, freezing her heart. Shizuru held herself, fingernails digging deeply into her arms. "Kiyohime," she commanded. The hydra unleashed the dragon and backed away, hissing venomously.

Natsuki spared her friend one suspicious glance as she knelt beside the redhead. Mai's eyes had not left Shizuru nor had the anger lessened in them. The brunette saw Natsuki note this. Pain blazed as her fingernails furrowed her skin under her shirtsleeves.

The gun disappeared as the biker turned her full attention on the Kagutsuchi user. "Mai, Mai, Mai," she whispered, gently shaking the woman. When the redhead failed to respond, Natsuki sighed then slapped Mai hard, the glove on her hand not sparing the woman the sting of the blow.

The hit snapped Mai out of her reverie. She seemed startled to see Natsuki beside her. "Takumi is dead. Yuiichi is dead...what do I have to live for now?" the redhead mumbled. She smiled cynically suddenly. "This HiME destiny is so twisted, right Natsuki?"

In reply, Natsuki pulled the redhead close and hugged her wordlessly. "Yes it is." She pulled back after a few moments and brushed the sweaty bangs out of Mai's eyes. Her voice lowered to a caress. "But you're the only one who can stop it." She seemed to search for an answer in those bright violet eyes. "Can you promise me to stay strong for a little while longer?"

Mai gnawed her lip, bowing her head. After a minute, she nodded. She looked up quickly, her eyes widening in realisation..."Natsuki, don't..."

Natsuki smiled, her rare genuine smile. "Thank you for everything, my friend." She stood, easily avoiding Mai's grasping hands. As she stood, her Element shimmered into existence. The woman unconsciously twirled them as she walked towards Shizuru.

The Student Council President had prepared herself while the two spoke. When she faced Natsuki, her countenance was calm and unfeeling as ever. Whatever words Natsuki had to say, she would bear them with dour determination. If Natsuki attacked, she would not defend herself.

She had thought that she could face whatever came next but she was wrong.

Natsuki's weapons winked out as she hugged the brunette tightly. "I love you, Shizuru," she whispered softly into the woman's sandy locks. After one harsh deep breath, her love continued on. "It took me so long to realise what my heart was truly feeling. Only after you killed Nao did I...Shizuru..."

The biker broke the embrace suddenly as if she could not bear to touch the woman any longer. She could not bring herself to look at the President. Her eyes sought forgiveness from the cold torn earth. "Shizuru, I know what you did, you did for my sake. That's why...that's why...I have to do this."

"Mikoto! Don't!"

Both women turned at Mai's anguished cry. Dimly, Shizuru heard Kiyohime roar in fury as she watched in disbelief as the girl struck off one of its heads. Unlike its Grecian counterpart, Kiyohime could not regenerate and the feral child was killing it. Twisting in the air with feline agility, she landed on the squid body and plunged her sword deep into its carapace. Green fire bloomed up along her blade and geysered into the air.

_Impossible..._was all the time Shizuru had to think before she felt the resonance of Kiyohime's death.

Pain. Unimaginable pain raced along her body. It was if she was being burnt in Hell. Overcome, Shizuru toppled forward but did not meet the ground. Warm arms cradled her and laid her gently down. In her white glazed vision was Natsuki's worried face. Beneath the sound of blood roaring in her ears, the President thought she could hear Mai's hysterical cries.

"Shizuru," Natsuki whispered, her voice low and agonised. Her hand gently stroked away the bangs from the woman's eyes. She hesitated for a moment then kissed the President on her lips. Shizuru tasted the saltiness of tears. She wasn't sure if it was her love's or her own.

When the kiss ended, Natsuki was gone, the glitter of green sparkles faded into darkness.

"I love you," Shizuru said quietly to the air.

She felt footsteps approach and knew who it was. Mikoto came, her claymore furrowing the dark earth. Shizuru closed her eyes. She did not have long to wait. The blade whistled through the air...

The darkness taunted her. Shizuru tried to control her panting as she raised a shaking hand to wipe a sweating brow. It was wrong. All wrong. The Carnival had ended happily four years ago. As if to confirm it had been a nightmare, the woman turned to look at her companion.

"Shizuru, what is it?" her love woke suddenly and touched her face. A gentle caress. "Love?"

Shizuru, still shaking, shied away from the touch. She saw worry flash in those green eyes. "It's nothing, Natsuki. Go back to sleep." A kiss to affirm her lie. She was sure that the raven-haired vixen could taste it.

In the darkness, she could not see her love's face clearly. She was sure that the woman was frowning, her body exuded tension.

"You're trembling. What's wrong?" Natsuki sat up, the blanket falling from her form to lay about her bare waist.

A gentle warm touch on her bare cold shoulder. Shizuru turned away. It was too reminiscent of the dream.

"Shizuru."

"It's nothing, Natsuki. Just a dream. Go back to sleep, love," she said, a rare snap in her voice. She ignored her love's confused and hurt expression and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I need a drink," was all she said as she closed the door softly behind her.

Yet, once she was out of the room, she headed for the balcony. She leaned her head against the glass sliding door. It was a beautiful view of Tokyo. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the cheery sight. Then knocked her forehead slightly against the door. The flare of pain subsided. She knocked it again and again, a little harder each time. Trying to knock the dream out of her head. Why...why did she have the same dream for the last few nights?

A cold shiver through her soul was her only answer.

Arms came around her, holding her tightly. A familiar scent enveloped her, lulling her clamorous heart into silence. Shizuru opened her eyes as Natsuki nuzzled her neck then gently turned her around to face her.

"Why...why must you always be the strong one, love?" Natsuki whispered. The earnest yearning, the love, filling her voice. And also, skulking beneath it, the pain of not being able to help. She took her hands in hers and just held them. Her athletic strength, gentle. "Can't you tell me why you haven't slept for the last four days?"

Shizuru looked away, unable to meet the worry in those bright eyes. Those bright eyes she had killed for. She shivered again as Natsuki released her hands and reached up to cup her face. Her love searched her eyes. "What are you ashamed of?"

In the end, it was the love in those eyes that undid her. So, she told Natsuki about the dream. All of it. The raven-haired beauty did not blink nor look away nor take her hands. When she had finished, Natsuki merely smiled.

"Natsuki, I..."

"Hush," was all she said. "Silly woman. You know that I would never leave you."

Her hands moved. A fingertip traced Shizuru's lips softly and she opened her mouth, letting the finger slip inside. She suckled gently. Natsuki made a small sound in her throat, her cheeks crimsoning faintly. Shizuru suckled harder and reached up to grasp the woman's hand, to keep her from pulling away, eliciting a guttural moan from Natsuki.

When she finally released the raven-haired woman, Natsuki picked her up and carried her to bed. Velvet lips upon her skin, leaving trails of fire. Nails scraped lightly, raising goosebumps. Cloth softly rustling as their bodies moved under the silk blanket like gentle waves. Breaths, harsh, strained, filled the songs of the moonlight shadows until dawn came and melted the mantle of night away.


End file.
